Gotcha Day

We spent 25 hours hours getting here yesterday, but were nicely met by our Chinese guide, Rosa. (China really reminds me of Mexico). At the airport, we met our agency's other three couples that are adopting from this province, Guangdong. What a great bunch!

Today, we hit the ground running with a full scedule. After a hearty breakfast including dim sum, bacon, eggs, cabbage, we walked to the bank about 3 blocks away to exchange money for our adoption fees this week. We are grateful that our guide helped arrange it all and that the bank was close. Once the money was exchanged into the People's money for four couples , it could have filled a couple of shoe boxes. I was a bodyguard, our guide carried it ( I have handled house closing checks that were big, but I never walked down the street with that much cash before). When back to the Hotel, we traded up to a larger room, then rushed to catch the bus to the Adoption Registry Agency to get Ellie!!!

We went up an elevator and entered a large room with a dozen other families with & without their adoptive children. We sat on sofas around the room periphery and then took some pictures of our group, pre-adoption. Within a few minutes, we were called to receive Ellie. It went fast, I am amazed now how unprepared we were. We have spent years preparing for this; Lisa has organized thousands of pages of applications, we have read dozens of books, then went back for different books when we switched to the Waiting Child program. When we met, it almost seemed anticlimatic. Many other parents around us in the large room were also in various stages of getting their children, about 3 children were crying. At first Ellie seemed a little perplexed, and cautious. I understand now how emotionally numb she was. After about five minutes of nubness, she began crying. For hours, she shifted between sobs and tears and short shouts of pain. I know a few Mandarin words, and recognized "Mommy", "Daddy", and "Home!"; but anyone could have guessed that. Her Chinese Foster family had been a very good one; she was well raised, well cared for, and loved; and this was legalized kidnapping!

Another family in our group had recieved another six year old girl from the same Chinese adoption agency. This family brought their eleven year old daughter and she was connecting well with their new daughter, so we went over to play together. Lisa left to talk with the social workers while Ellie kept her back to be. She played with Mr. Potato Head and her new friend Zhe Zhe, while having intermittent tears and sobs for over an hour. She never threw a tantrum- (she is a real Lady) but this must have been the worst day of her life.

Lisa had brought a toy camera that Ellie seemed to like quite a bit; I watched Ellie flash off several fake pictures. Ellie has a small Chinese photo album, and I was told that one nice picture of her foster parents was taken by her. So, after remembering all the stuff I had busted up as a kid, and how my parents were patient with me, I handed Ellie our only digital still camera, and softly told her "careful" in Mandarin while showing her the button. She was taking pictures right & left and handling the camera very well; I was impressed! More sobbing...

After a few hours we hopped on the bus, and I think three of the four children cried. Back at the room, she sat on the floor, fetal position, not letting us too close, but we were wiping away the tears. Never any pushing or struggle. When things got quieter, we turned on a Chinese TV cartoon, and she seemed to quiet more. Her 11 year old friend stopped by with a Nintendo DS; Ellie seemed to know how to work it. More TV; then the eyelids finally began drooping VERY SLOWLY. Lisa and I whispered while she watched with eyelids at half mast- but she was definitely watching. She did not want to be touched while sleeping sideways in a lounge chair, feet sticking up & out wildly. It didn't look comfy, but that's how she wanted to nod off around nine PM. Around Midnight she finally allowed us to carry her to bed. Lisa took her to the bathroom, and back in bed she ate her first food, a couple McNuggets and a few sips of water. Oh! It is after two AM, and she is in bed, but still has her backpack on; really the only thing that is hers, I can't blame her.